It is said that a man's only way of escape from the cold, cruel world is through drink, departures and dreams. For me, brief adventures with friends offer some respite from daily worries and melancholia.

The week long reprieves from work will be sorely missed, them being the overseas trips and more recently, the model UN Conference, which was an impetus-lacking and engaging affair.

The parade of nations was completely relaxed. My presentation induced a sort of euphoria that I guess, is akin to the double-panadol-in-coke drug abuse. Here's the gross and pun-filled script that was miraculously created mere minutes before the presentation itself.

Rakshit: Hi, we're the delegates from Brazil, and it's great to see you all.
Anton: Brazil! The land with the most beautiful beaches(ugh #1) in the world.
Amil: You all have heard of chestnuts(ugh#2)
Anton: Walnuts!(ugh#3)
Rakshit: And peanuts!(ugh#4)
Amil: But today, we present to you, brazil nuts!
*all 3 take out packs of nuts from various pockets*
Anton: We Brazilians have the biggest nuts in the world!(ugh#5)
Amil: Our nuts are very oily, and are crushed, and their essence extracted. This essence is used for lubrication...(pause) in the industry!(ugh#6)
Rakshit: Our nut essence was used by the Nut-zis(ugh#7) during WWII!
Anton: Not only do we Brazilians rock with our nuts, we rock with our balls too!(ugh #8)
*soccer balls drop from ceiling*
Rakshit: That's why we're gonna win the world cup!(this was done after Brazil was knocked out)
Anton: So if any of you guys would like to eat our nuts, please see us later.(ugh#9)

Definitely entertaining for a 15-year-old male audience, I think.

They go about, telling us what to and what not to do.

According to the script, we rebel.

And then we receive a lecture, or worse.

But would they really rather us as lifeless, robot-like beings who always do as we are told, without so much as an inaudible grumble? Do they consider the repercussions where we grow up to be slaves, controlled by so-called discipline?

Maybe, just maybe, rebellion is part of one's character-building. But wait, what if things work both ways? If we rebel but they leave us be, there would be no fun. I dunno.

All four seasons.

Unreasonable at times, appearing to vent the day's anger on her children, yet tolerant and cheery at others, mommy can change from sunny to stormy in the blink of an eye.

Grounded by a wintry eye,
And a hot, stinging remark,
She can be kind, she can be cool.
I'm always guessing like a game show fool.

Lifted by a kind word,
And a sweet, warm embrace,
After a hard, hard, day at school.
I'm always guessing like a game show fool.

Changes her mind like she changes her sweaters,
From one minute to the next it's hard to tell.
She can be kind, she can be cool.
I'm always guessing like a game show fool.

Breathe! Don't forget to Breathe!

*furious*. Why is it we have everything we need, and everything we want. YET the thing that we want MOST of all, is juuust always outside of our grasp? It may not be something material. I have a cool phone that cost a pretty penny, I bought a new pair of birks last month, but what I seemingly would die without at this time (yes, I know this sounds spoilt, it'll pass once I lose faith in the world) doesn't even cost mere peanuts.

I sat down and wrote this letter,
Telling you that I haven't felt better.
Since you’d gone and I was free,
I've been so lonely.

I have so little time to spare now,
I ain't wanted anywhere now.
I'm always stuck at no. 121 Dover,
Friends have stopped coming over.

Feeling sorry for myself,
Wishing I am someone else.
I walk aimlessly around the city,
'Cause I cannot stand others' pity.

Begging doesn’t do the trick,
People think that I’m a lunatic.
The police arrive in time for tea,
Say they’d like to question me.

It hasn't been the best of days.
How I'd love to fly away.
It seems like good luck is always late,
I can only curse my fate.

Why can't I have the average 14-year-old's blog, where he writes,"Today I had mee pok for lunch. It was good. I'm so happy because the pretty girl at church smiled at me today!!!"

Hmph. I blame the need of the average teenager not to be average. When being out, is in, posts like these appear in places where they shouldn't, like this blog.

According to this quiz, because I sometimes experience déjà vu, I will meet someone not related to me in 14 years' time. Hmmmmm...

The next 14 years seem lonely to me..

Rules of Conduct, term 3 of school:

Don't cry,
Get high.
To live, you gotta fly.
Gotta fly.

Don't cheat,
Stand the heat.
Try to, keep on your feet.
Keep on your feet.

Don't feel,
Never heel.
Though beat, refuse to kneel.
Refuse to kneel.

Don't touch,
Or clutch.
Don't hope for too much.
It's too much.

Don't freak,
Don't leak.
Feeling too weak.
Way too weak.

Life's tough,
Play rough.
I've had, enough.
Had enough.

On the last true day of our brief taste of actual happiness, one realises(in hindsight, as usual) that the whole holidays were wasted(intellectually), and the free time was taken for granted. I resolve to make better use of my next vacation. I resolve to resolve the same thing after I fail next time.

You say that the river,
Always finds it's way to the sea,
And like the river,
You will come to me,
Beyond the borders,
And the dry lands,
Like a river...
Like a river...

A disease without a cure.
Like some divine will.
There is no stopping you.

Pain and suffering comes,

Like an ugly stalker.

There is no escape from you

It's deja vu, all over again, twice, again.

I'm on an island at a busy intersection.
I can't go forward,
I can't turn back.
Can't see the future,
It's getting away from me.
I just watch the tail lights glowing.
I'm one step closer to... nothing.

I'm hanging out to dry,
With my old clothes.
Finger still red,
With the prick of the old rose.
Well the heart that hurts,
Is a heart that beats.
Can you hear the drummer slowing?
I'm one step closer to... nothing.

What am I looking for

What happened,
What happened to the friends you could speak your mind to.
The ones with whom you could compliment at every thing done right.
Rather than deprecation of others, and tooting one's own horn.
Those who you could hug, and leave it at that, just a hug between friends.
Where did those friends go?

P.S.
CA is right. You really do act like a retarded baboon the first time.
And the second.
And the third.
Hope that stops soon.

A boy tries hard to be a man.
His mother takes him by his hand.
If he stops to think why,
Oh why,
Does he start to cry.

His dreams will never be fulfilled.
Rushing away like water spilled.
If he stops to think why,
Oh why,
Does he start to cry.