Selfish pet peeves

Everytime I see someone learn something I already know. I like to hoard my knowledge, and use it to win bets based on random information. But when I see someone acquire some golden nugget of trivia, my heart wrenches. I didn't even get that minute satisfaction of being able to smirk and look smart while telling it (if I decide to reveal such things). No, instead the random knowledge gap between me and the rest of the world narrows, and I feel stupider and stupider along the way.

I also hate it when I think of something clever, and it's just on the tip of my tongue when someone else says it and steals my thunder. My brain had been all prepared to bask in the looks of admiration when suddenly, ARGH it's been said prematurely. I mean it's okay if I hadn't thought of it first, but now that I've made all the effort to come up with  such a bon mot and it's taken away, I feel cheated, robbed.

The fates move in mysterious ways. Amil's shifting morals move in ways mysteriouser.

Thrice today I was given the opportunity to extricate myself from suffering. It would have required a mere word to take leave early and escape punishment. Instead I chose to 'do the right thing'. The only reward got was ennui and a wasted evening, and no one benefited from it. Sometimes the tragedy is being too virtuous.

Sometimes I wonder which is more painful. Doing wrong, getting punished for it, and living with the guilt, or doing the right thing, getting punished for it anyway and then realising that if if you had taken the dark side you would have escaped scott-free.

I've had a taste of both recently. The latter is more bitter. Definitely. But then again it's me.