Thursday, May 31, 2007

On responsibility

Now this is being written long after the initial flames which were my inspiration died out. Now I'm merely trying to stoke the dying embers. With each second that passes, the will to pen something down fades, just like with so many other entries that failed to publish.

Maybe the object of my life is to shrug off as much responsibility as I can. I'd love to go running in the middle of the night, to see what the city looks like then. I'd love to stay out late without fear of danger or intemperance or immorality.

I could continue writing, but I hardly feel like anymore.

Monday, May 28, 2007

All dressed up... and?

Monday, May 07, 2007

Heart of summer, I still smell the grass. I still hear the lines of the dream in the night.

It distracts too much.

Friday, May 04, 2007

sad fat and bald

I sit here in the eye of the storm, surrounded by all these overachieving people. To my left is my best friend, just returned from some international competition which he won hands-down. He's in the school rugby team. He scores inhumanly high grades for every subject he takes, and most embarassingly, for some that he doesn't take anymore. Most embarassingly because I take them myself, spend hours every week poring over them, yet still don't do as well. Women pine for him. He plays 3 different musical instruments. I just sit in the huge dark shadow.

To my right is a similar person. Scholar. Artist. Overachiever. Everywhere I look, it's success story after success story. How do I compare? I shan't even try to mention.

I realise that sitting here complaining ain't helping. Even if you're on the right track, you'll still get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers.

But is it wrong to be envious when you're the scrawny black sheep among all the golden-fleeced?