Saturday, November 01, 2008
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Everytime I see someone learn something I already know. I like to hoard my knowledge, and use it to win bets based on random information. But when I see someone acquire some golden nugget of trivia, my heart wrenches. I didn't even get that minute satisfaction of being able to smirk and look smart while telling it (if I decide to reveal such things). No, instead the random knowledge gap between me and the rest of the world narrows, and I feel stupider and stupider along the way.
I also hate it when I think of something clever, and it's just on the tip of my tongue when someone else says it and steals my thunder. My brain had been all prepared to bask in the looks of admiration when suddenly, ARGH it's been said prematurely. I mean it's okay if I hadn't thought of it first, but now that I've made all the effort to come up with such a bon mot and it's taken away, I feel cheated, robbed.
Monday, August 04, 2008
The fates move in mysterious ways. Amil's shifting morals move in ways mysteriouser.
Thrice today I was given the opportunity to extricate myself from suffering. It would have required a mere word to take leave early and escape punishment. Instead I chose to 'do the right thing'. The only reward got was ennui and a wasted evening, and no one benefited from it. Sometimes the tragedy is being too virtuous.
Sometimes I wonder which is more painful. Doing wrong, getting punished for it, and living with the guilt, or doing the right thing, getting punished for it anyway and then realising that if if you had taken the dark side you would have escaped scott-free.
I've had a taste of both recently. The latter is more bitter. Definitely. But then again it's me.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
You are closed-minded and pedantic. Unresponsive to questions. Puts down inquisitive little green students and puts out the creative light in their eyes. Your ineffectiveness is made all the more evident by the intellectual who leads the next class. I hold no respect for you. You are a waste of food and all the potential that these children have.
But for some people, like me, you are not completely useless.
You inspire me to show that I can survive, even thrive, without you.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
So there's some competition for that top spot. Gotta start early you know.
And now, in true megalomaniac fashion, I unveil my plans to the mindless hordes that are now within my grasp. The first step to world domination is joining FACEBOOK.
Every day, my reach of influence grows. It warms my heart to see the little email popup that says 'so and so president added you as friend, so and so hot model added you as friend'. It warms my heart some more when I think of how I will have 10 million friends. And it warms my heart again more when I think of how I will deactivate my account on 10 million friends, breaking 10 million hearts goodbye Mr Anderson heheheh
Thursday, June 12, 2008
7 brothers huddled in a penguin-esque ball, in the middle of the floor.
The itchy little vibrating ball of tension in each one grown steadily over the last 4 days, now too large to be handled individually. Beyond itchy, it has grown to become an unbearable unsatisfiable ache. It shuddered like boiling milk, the atmosphere the spoon dipped into it that makes it overflow violently through our faces, our hands, our eyes. We huddled, and hoped harder than we had ever hoped before
then in one consummatory moment the emcee announces, we win! and the tension, contained too long, explodes in the form of screaming jumping and for some, crying.
After which, we retreat in jubilance. The Vs congratulate and hug us, but it is an awkward moment. Their faces contradict their words. There's just too much emotion in the room, it would take an ubermensch to hide it from his countenance. We are tempered by the wretched looks on their faces.
Wrongly so. After all, we do not deserve to be repressed again do we? Not all the tension has been released yet; even the massive supernova cannot liberate all the star's energy in a split second. But we must have consideration for the crestfallen. We cannot celebrate in the same room as the grieving...
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
You'll never know if you are loved by me
As pretty as your face is
I'd never round the bases
From a distance home is easier to see
I'd be fine
If I could find the nerve to say my line
Too bad I lack the fervor
'Cause maybe I could swerve her
Off her beaten path and onto mine
To publish my obsession
Of love without confession
Would be to share the spotlight with chagrin
I'd rather just admire
Fanning my own fire
And when it dies I'd live to love again
What to do
I've only started and already though
You may not ever meet me
Surely won't defeat me
I'll never know if I am loved by you
Seems I'm just too yellow to pursue
Guess I'll never know if I am loved by you
Sunday, April 06, 2008
I ask a close friend, 3 years too late.
'You live in a world of your own,'
Echoing my very own recent pensive introspection verbatim. Lately I've only brushed the surface of the disturbing parallel world of interpersonal relationships, through second hand knowledge of course. I have a no-secrets pact with 6 of my friends. Obviously the few stories I have to share are juiceless and bland, but the ones I hear, while I belly-laugh equally hard as everyone else, make me feel a poignant tang every time. I walk in on the unspeakable acts committed by the last friends I would guess to engage in such shenanigans. Again, I laugh but the laughter hides a part of me inside that dies. It might be mere curiosity tickling me, which I am perfectly fine with, but I doubt that.
I catch myself searching the stoic tome of wikipedia for those two words (interpersonal attraction) in some desperate but inevitably fruitless attempt to find a magic code to elucidate this thickly-veiled world. The phrase that resonates in my skull is taken, quite inappropriately, from the tagline for the 40 Year Old Virgin. 'The longer you wait, the harder it gets.' Such a serious matter (for the moment), and I can only remember a line from a lewd comedy. Charming.
I'm quite comfortable in this world of my own. Inertia is an insufferable force. Hormones and curiosity are unstoppable. Even joined forces, how do I manage to resist them?
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
The one who has taught me before is erudite and awe inspiring. He sparked my love for the subject he teaches. The impression he has left on my life is profound. Now he has returned again, and his presence not only rekindles my love for his subject, but makes him a foil to another teacher I have been cursed with this year. He could be called an adroit mindsmith.
The second one contrasts the first horribly. She cannot communicate with her students. She cannot answer questions, and rather than admitting her shortcomings, insults and humiliates the innocent pupil. Malcom Forbes said that the purpose of education is to replace empty minds with open ones, and here my hypocritical 'teacher' works to create fear in the student. Sickening.