I Awaken... To Foggy Darkness

Four seasons in seconds flicker and flash,
Im alone.
A lonely screen provides the scene,
its no home.
Every night I hear you scream,
But you dont say what you mean.
This was my dream,
but now my dream has flown.

Im at the crossroads,
waiting for a sign.
My life is standing still,
but Im still alive.
Every night I think I know,
In the morning where did it go?
The answers disappear,
when I open my eyes.

Carpe Diem!

I just learnt a new word. It just seems so meaningful to me that I *have* to post it.

car·pe di·em

Used as an admonition to seize the pleasures of the moment without concern for the future.

I think I'll live by this from now on... hope I dont go to jail or something.

Yet Another Rant

Its been a sort of emotional rollercoaster this week, well as much as a stoned 14-year old can experience anyway.

First day of school spent snoring in class, talking with friends. High point - spending a hilarious 5 minutes on the library computer...learning swear words in foreign languages. I'll spare the details.

Second day! Wheeee! Got my scholarship! Earned about 18 thousand bucks in a couple of minutes... aand it's stuck in the bank. Dang.

Third day was a rush. Blazed through art homework... 5 minutes before art. Considered joining the dance club. I think I inhaled too much exhaust in the morning.

Came back to my senses on Thursday. Must've been outta my mind(happens a lot). Well dance is for Year 5 only anyways... I'll consider joining when I'm there. Instead im now deciding whether to take part in OM. I definitely need to do something, or I'll fail CAS(L). Bleh.

It's Friday... the day where I should be most happy, but I've just remembered that I'll be taking part in the track and field meet. Now running's all fine and dandy, I can cover the 3000m easily, but its the high jump thats giving me the butterflies. What was my house manager thinking? I've never done a high jump in my life!

Heh I'm just waiting for the cursed meet to be over so I can get some rest. But I know that just as that is done, I'll get another nerve-wracking assignment to kill myself over.

Life sucks that way I guess. Never lets up.

Faint

When this began,
I had nothing to say.
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me.
I was confused.
And I let it all out to find,
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind.
Inside of me.
But in all the vacancy the words revealed,
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel.
Nothing to lose.
Just stuck,
Hollow and alone.
And the fault is my own.
And the fault is my own.

I want to heal,
I want to feel,
What I thought was never real.
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long.
I want to heal,
I want to feel,
Like I'm close to something real.
I want to find something I've wanted all along,
Somewhere I Belong.

And I've got nothing to say.
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face.
I was confused.
Looking everywhere,
Only to find that it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind.
What do I have but negativity,
Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me.
Nothing to lose.
Hollow and alone.
And the fault is my own.
The fault is my own.

Too lightheaded after the first day of school to actually write anything. It's Staggering how they treat you at ACS(I).

I'm a Good Person! Serious!

Took the 'Which evil dude are you' personality test. These things are addictive.


What Type of Villain are You?
mutedfaith.com.

Preeety accurate, I must say. But now I must kill these people because they know too much about me...

I should call Child Aid for this...

My god I got an unearthly amount of homework for the holidays. It's bordering on child abuse.

Imagine the last day of school, the whole class is all woohoo and no one's paying any attention to the teacher scribble and blah. Just as yet another paper aeroplane flies across the cramped, oppresively stifling room, a hellish word meets our ears. Everyone perks up and screams inwardly as they see the wicked grin on the teacher's ugly face.

"Holiday homework!!!" he manages to cry, with a bright smile that you would easily mistake for that of a toddler receiving candy, if you didnt know the entire situation and you were deaf. He, with a feat of strength that rivals that of a mother lifting a tree of her child, somehow extracts a titanic pile of papers from his trolley. A collective "fuck" can be heard from the class, as if it came from the very walls themselves, echoing the laments of students of years past...

Take It easy, take it easy.
Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.
Lighten up while you still can,
Don't even try to understand.
Just find a place to make your stand and,
Take it easy.

Yet another song thats well beyond my age.

Like A Bomb

The happy bubble that just kept expanding and expanding today just exploded all of a sudden.

Have you ever felt like your heart was suddenly separated.
Destitute and sick, crying for a home,
But given a dank corner instead.
And it's all because of yourself.

Have you ever felt like you were literally drowning in guilt.
Engulfed and sinking, lungs crying out for air,
But given water instead.
And it's all because of yourself.

Thats how I feel now.

Whoopee!

Had my Grade 5 theory test today. T'went well!!!

Got into the car and my day was made. Mom bought me this CD:

Yahoo! I went for the concert but it was'nt too great. Indoor stadium's sound system sucks monkey balls. Well Liam was'nt too nice to us either... not unexpected anyway.

At any rate the music rox!

Ooh my head hurts...

I'm having one of those funny moments.

Was looking through random blogs, and I came across one that made me read the whole webpage.

Well there was this guy who was complaining about his life(as usual), saying that how his parents' salaries were'nt enough and his pocket money was insignificant compared to everyone else's. When the number came out, it was 4000 a month. Now this is when I thought,"Oh crapola... That is'nt much at all..."

I've been asked to reflect on the poverty seen while in China on the OEP but I've never truly felt lucky like this before.

An angel, robed in spotless white,

Bent down and kissed the sleeping Night.

Night woke to blush; the sprite was gone.

Men saw the blush and called it Dawn.

I'm Running Out of Title Ideas...

Bleh... Shafi is acting like a PMSed woman...

I play dota with him and kill him once, then he says that I ask him to play just so I can kill somebody, and promptly leaves. Well anyway I'll mom says it's a stage, and even I was like that once... hope not.

Didn't go to school today wasnt feeling too well. Sigh im sick of DOTA.

Popcorn is good.
Homework sucks.
Friends are good.
Boredom sucks.

I feel like im drowning in the boredom just looking forward to the holidays when i can go out more... Damn whoever gives me holiday homework.

First Post, of the Rest of my Life.

My first post. Inspired by my super-cool uncle(hope youre reading this).

Sigh... tonnes of homework and still i forgot to take my bag home. Gonna get screwed tomorrow if I cant copy everything in time. Friends are all on top of things...