Love at First Sight, or all the Other Things People Call it

I said maybe,
You're gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all,
You're my wonderwall.

It's like someone punctured your stomach, and the acid is running through your veins, but oddly enough, it's kinda pleasurable. Exhilirating yet excruciating, the crush is.

They say that the first cut is the deepest. I believe that is because the first kiss is the most tender(no need to freak out daddy thats just a figure of speech, I didnt really kiss anyone).

It is hard to explain. You feel a strange burning sensation as the hormones kick into overdrive just as she walks round the corner. Sometimes it's so bad that nausea fills your already muddled brains. Unfortunately, that is'nt a good thing. You can't think normally. She smiles at you and your knees feel like the fondue you ate at Max Brenner's last night. 'Hi!' she chirps. It sounds like heaven to you.

You smile dumbly. You'd be happy just to stand there and listen to her voice. Without realising it, a sound, a whole octave lower than your usual register, escapes your mouth. 'Hullo,' you grunt. You wince inside.

Ten minutes later, the whole episode runs through your mind. You start to critisize everything you did and said. Dang, why did'nt I say that cool thing there. I could have told her that joke. Too bad, bubba, you managed to grunt was an intellectual 'hullo', which must have sounded like neanderthal fart at the time.

I digress. Just experience it for yourself. It's like drugs when you experience it, you feel so high your hair touches the floor of heaven. It's also like drugs after it's passed, your stomach threatens to empty that big mac onto your shoes, among other, more putrid things. I just realised that I've digressed again.

Oh my god, I've gone so far off my original intended topic imma have to make another post later.

She is electric.
Can I be electric too?

Gotta take some time to think of my next post, it's gonna be deep, this one.

Deep in it Today, Literally and Metaphorically

I read in the blog of a friend of mine, on how he yearned for his younger days when he was carefree and happy. This was the iron that burned into my memory of something that happened earlier today.

It was raining cats and dogs today. One of my better friends and I got off at Kembangan station. His mom could'nt pick us up so we had to suffer some of the rain. The bus we usually waited for was late, so we decided to hail a cab. As we moved to the other end of the station where the taxi stand was, he noticed that the bus had arrived. Unfortunately it was on the other side of the road, 50 metres away. 'Oh shit.'

We sprinted across the road in the pouring rain, and nearly got killed on both sides by passing traffic :P. By the way, the sky juice was so heavy that you could barely see the HDB flats across the street. Slipped once on the way, but we managed to get on the bus. In the short few seconds spent in the rain, we were soaking wet. Anyway, we headed for the back seat, shivering and roaringly happy.

Ironically it's the young people who want to grow up as quick as they can, while the oldies want to go back to their childhood.

Me, I'm gonna take my time to smell the roses along the way.

Taking the Plunge

I dunno why the hell I'm so worried about this. Guess I'm just wierd that way.

I feel like I'm about to go on a long journey, with many perils, and monsters which will try to eat my brains. It must be because I'm doing this for a girl whom I like(I think).

I'm gonna sign up for friendster.

Pray for me, my friends.

I Awaken... To Foggy Darkness

Four seasons in seconds flicker and flash,
Im alone.
A lonely screen provides the scene,
its no home.
Every night I hear you scream,
But you dont say what you mean.
This was my dream,
but now my dream has flown.

Im at the crossroads,
waiting for a sign.
My life is standing still,
but Im still alive.
Every night I think I know,
In the morning where did it go?
The answers disappear,
when I open my eyes.

Carpe Diem!

I just learnt a new word. It just seems so meaningful to me that I *have* to post it.

car·pe di·em

Used as an admonition to seize the pleasures of the moment without concern for the future.

I think I'll live by this from now on... hope I dont go to jail or something.

Yet Another Rant

Its been a sort of emotional rollercoaster this week, well as much as a stoned 14-year old can experience anyway.

First day of school spent snoring in class, talking with friends. High point - spending a hilarious 5 minutes on the library computer...learning swear words in foreign languages. I'll spare the details.

Second day! Wheeee! Got my scholarship! Earned about 18 thousand bucks in a couple of minutes... aand it's stuck in the bank. Dang.

Third day was a rush. Blazed through art homework... 5 minutes before art. Considered joining the dance club. I think I inhaled too much exhaust in the morning.

Came back to my senses on Thursday. Must've been outta my mind(happens a lot). Well dance is for Year 5 only anyways... I'll consider joining when I'm there. Instead im now deciding whether to take part in OM. I definitely need to do something, or I'll fail CAS(L). Bleh.

It's Friday... the day where I should be most happy, but I've just remembered that I'll be taking part in the track and field meet. Now running's all fine and dandy, I can cover the 3000m easily, but its the high jump thats giving me the butterflies. What was my house manager thinking? I've never done a high jump in my life!

Heh I'm just waiting for the cursed meet to be over so I can get some rest. But I know that just as that is done, I'll get another nerve-wracking assignment to kill myself over.

Life sucks that way I guess. Never lets up.

Faint

When this began,
I had nothing to say.
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me.
I was confused.
And I let it all out to find,
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind.
Inside of me.
But in all the vacancy the words revealed,
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel.
Nothing to lose.
Just stuck,
Hollow and alone.
And the fault is my own.
And the fault is my own.

I want to heal,
I want to feel,
What I thought was never real.
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long.
I want to heal,
I want to feel,
Like I'm close to something real.
I want to find something I've wanted all along,
Somewhere I Belong.

And I've got nothing to say.
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face.
I was confused.
Looking everywhere,
Only to find that it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind.
What do I have but negativity,
Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me.
Nothing to lose.
Hollow and alone.
And the fault is my own.
The fault is my own.

Too lightheaded after the first day of school to actually write anything. It's Staggering how they treat you at ACS(I).

I'm a Good Person! Serious!

Took the 'Which evil dude are you' personality test. These things are addictive.


What Type of Villain are You?
mutedfaith.com.

Preeety accurate, I must say. But now I must kill these people because they know too much about me...

I should call Child Aid for this...

My god I got an unearthly amount of homework for the holidays. It's bordering on child abuse.

Imagine the last day of school, the whole class is all woohoo and no one's paying any attention to the teacher scribble and blah. Just as yet another paper aeroplane flies across the cramped, oppresively stifling room, a hellish word meets our ears. Everyone perks up and screams inwardly as they see the wicked grin on the teacher's ugly face.

"Holiday homework!!!" he manages to cry, with a bright smile that you would easily mistake for that of a toddler receiving candy, if you didnt know the entire situation and you were deaf. He, with a feat of strength that rivals that of a mother lifting a tree of her child, somehow extracts a titanic pile of papers from his trolley. A collective "fuck" can be heard from the class, as if it came from the very walls themselves, echoing the laments of students of years past...

Take It easy, take it easy.
Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.
Lighten up while you still can,
Don't even try to understand.
Just find a place to make your stand and,
Take it easy.

Yet another song thats well beyond my age.