Old play-doh

I am not the same person I was a year ago, and I wasn't the person I had been, the year before that, and so on.

Every year, I'd mold myself to becoming a different person. Different in deportment and work ethic. Now it'd be somewhat due to propinquity. Being the impressionable and somewhat insecure young child I am. These transformations were sometimes for the better; but more often than not for the worse. This year, I have been fortunate.

It is a vicious cycle though. I'd never hold on to a character for long enough to be good at it, and I'd never achieve the acceptence I craved so. By the time I settled down, I'd be in a different environment, and have to evolve, or devolve, again.

But do what? How to alleviate this problem? Should I even try? This absurd fickleness obviously stems from an even more absurd need to be assimilated. In the years ahead will I turn into something else? what will I turn into? I am quite satisfied with my current state after all.

One hears the phrase 'be yourself' so often. Easier said than done.

running to stand still

Though we are only ordinary men,
And cocks and pigs and dogs,
We have some royalty in us;
We are crimson queens as well.

Constants

Selfishness, stupidity, horniness.

The reasons we exist as we are today.

First is all-pervasive. It is obvious. It needs no explanation.
The third is irrelevant to me at this point of time.

But stupidity, it's very nature implies that it does not know of it's own existence. Most saddening is the fact that because of it's obliviousness to itself one continues to commit the same follies again and again.

For hope springs eternal.

It's the concept behind things like the lottery. Or dating. Or dare I say religion.

But the lottery, dating, or religion, they are by no means the point of this post. They are mere arbitrary examples.

Stupidity is way too powerful to be focused on those three. It's everywhere. In others. In ourselves.

keepin' the clean sheet

I am a coward.

What could have been though, if not for the juvenile reengineering?

I'll be fine, As long as there's a bed beneath the stars tonight

Walked out this morning
Don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion other bottles
Washed up on the shore

I'll be fine if you give me a minute
A man's got a limit
I can't get a life if my heart's not in it

bowed, on his knees, almost down and out

Like diving and holding your breath, but when you break water, there's no air up there.

Also like doing so much work and realising that the thing that you kept thinking of to keep yourself going throughout the day is missing.

Worser Flight

Little fly,
Thy summer's play.
My thoughtless hand,
Has brushed away.

Am not I,
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou,
A man like me?

For I dance,
And drink, and sing.
Till some blind hand,
Has brushed my wing.

Bzzt - zing!

is the sound of your brain making a connection. Neurons fire and grow at the speed of light, connecting in a full, closed circuit. The sensation is palpable and it comes with the euphoric shot of dopamine. It can be scary sometimes.

Letter From Will

Fear no more the frown of the great,
Thou art past the tyrant's stroke;
Care no more to clothe and eat,
To thee the reed is as the oak.